Last week was polarizing for me. I have waited a week to write about it because I needed time to process the events that I witnessed. The song that kept coming to my mind was "Seasons of love" I must have heard that song a dozen times that week every time something new something great was being processed. "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minuets, how do you measure, measure a year? Measure in love." The simple yet complex words that Johnathan Larsen wrote over two decades ago... Last week I had a lot of time to think about that. The solitude, the noise it did not matter nothing could silence the thoughts in my head. Forget running; forget any sort of vice to shut these down... These thoughts had only one thing in mind, to be sorted through and thought of.
What happened? You are most likely wondering about that by now. I lost my Grandpa, the last of my grandparents to pass. He was wonderful, he was a gentleman, and he was my grandpa. I was by his side a few short hours before he went home. I had my camera with me and took some photographs as my family gathered around him and said their goodbyes. We prayed, we sang, and most importantly we laughed. Then fast forward a few days, one of my friends that I have known for years had her baby. Life. Breath. Movement. A couple days later I did their newborn shoot. Polarizing.
You know what I kept thinking about? Life. Death has a way of causing you to feel more human then you have ever felt, have you ever noticed that? Perhaps it is because of the emotions that come to the surface. Birth has a way of doing that too. Looking at new life, new possibilities, and the frailty of humanity. Both beautiful. Both life.
When my grandpa passed I immediately thought about his life. His passions. He loved life. I never heard him speak one bad word about anyone. He was only ever laughing or observing. He was a writer, an artist of the pen. He was a storyteller, he captivated an audience and his presence gently commanded that. When I held the new baby, life overwhelmed me. Healed me. Smelling the sweet breath of a new baby, starring into the face of someone that is seeing life for the first time is overwhelming and should be greatly cherished and honored. Starring into the face of a newborn baby is starring into the face of a miracle. This is something that should never be seen as common.
I have learned that in the end there is life just as in the beginning there is life. It starts with God and ends with God... I have learned in the middle there is joy and where you find joy you will find Jesus. He is the center of all joy. He is with you in the center of your sorrow comforting you. He is there inside of every tear, happy or sad. When you have a life in him, your life will always begin and end with life because through him you live forever. I know this is true. He is what makes me feel alive; he is what gives me breath. He is love.
So throughout this year, when the quiet overwhelms you and deafens your mind ask yourself.. How do you measure your year? is it in appointments? carpools? budgets? Or is it in love?
